Growth and adjustments

We continue to do fairly well at home. Toby still has a lingering cold. His g-tube site is looking much better. The boys seem to be adjusting to Toby being home. Garrett isn't as jealous and tries to put his pacifier back in Toby's mouth, etc. and be a helper! He loves to help move the ventilator (on the stand that rolls) from the bedroom to the living room. I taught Conor how to read the numbers on the pulsoximeter, so he knows how to tell me what the oxygen level or the heart rate is. It's amazing to hear Conor walk around the house and say the words like suction and pulsox! Some days are good, some days are hard. The grind of every day life and having a child with special needs - such as knowing that there will always be health issues to deal with can really get me down at times. I'm learning to be content; in some ways this time at home has been more trying than when he was in the hospital. It's difficult because in some ways you are continually going through a grieving process for what Toby should be doing at this age, or the things that he never be able to do. We're also used to being able to go and do things with the other 2 boys. After the nurse leaves, I can't just take the boys outside to play - this has been very hard for me. I have realized that we can't just pick up and go camping or to the beach like we have loved to do in the past. Through all of this, is a level of grief and then acceptance. God continues to teach us to lean on Him for every need, and to be content in whatever place He has us. He is still good, and we are thankful - thankful because now our dear little friend Evan, isn't alone anymore. He has a friend also on a ventilator. Evan told Erika, "Toby has a trach just like me, and Toby gets suctioned just like me!" I'm glad that Evan has someone to relate to - just like him. God has blessed us in so many ways - and we will continue to give Him the glory, even in the valleys.