Every Step of the Way...21 Days

Today, I want to share an amazing story that only has one explanation: God.  Over 13 years ago, Bruce and I began a friendship with an engaged couple named Erika and Carl.  We met through our church's singles group - though none of us were single for very long.  In August of 2000, Bruce and I were married.  The following year in May of 2001 - Erika and Carl were married.  We would spend weekends double dating, playing miniature golf, picking apples, watching our guys cook dinner and week nights watching the Amazing Race together! A few years later in May of 2002 - we spent a week together in Hawaii.  It was a dream trip, and we had a lot of fun!

That fall, Erika and I discovered that we were both expecting, three weeks apart.  I was due July 13th, and she was due August 1st.  We were so excited to share our pregnancy, and kept Wendy's in business that summer, as we were often craving hamburgers...(I hope she doesn't kill me for posting these pictures! I also apologize for the picture quality; they're old and were scanned from my scrapbooks.)

Hmmm...who's bigger?  I was always larger!

My due date, July 13th came and went, and the 14th, 15th, 16th....Finally, my doctor scheduled an induction on the morning of July 25th.  On July 24th, Erika, Krysty (another dear friend of ours), and myself were scheduled to go out for lunch, but then the phone rang.  It was Erika. She had been having some difficulties during her pregnancy, nothing major, but the doctors were ready to induce that day.  I was so upset.  I called Bruce and my mom crying; it didn't seem fair that I had waited 11 days past my due date, and Erika was going to have her baby a week early - and before me! (boo - hoo).

At 10:16 p.m., Evan David Weise was born weighing 5 lbs. 13 oz.  Almost at that exact moment, I began having contractions.  By 1:30 a.m. we were at Riverside hospital - in the waiting room, no less...waiting for a delivery room to come available.  Carl and Bruce were sitting on either side of me having a conversation while I was deep breathing through my contractions.  "Don't mind me, I'm just in LABOR!"  

15 hours and 59 minutes after Evan was born, Benjamin Conor Holt came into the world - July 25th - at 2:15 p.m., weighing 6 lbs. 11 oz.

Evan is on the left and Conor is on the right (Do not ask me why his face and mouth are so red!)

I'm actually holding Evan in this photo, and Erika is holding Conor.

We had no idea that four months later, Evan would be admitted because his diaphragm was paralyzed and pushing up on his lungs or that he would spend the next three months at Children's puzzling the doctors, because he couldn't breathe on his own.  He had every genetic test, biopsy, etc. known to the doctors performed, and still no one could explain what he had or why.  He also had surgery for a trach, feeding tube, and went home ventilator dependent.

We had no idea that four years later, Erika and other friends (Krysty and Jamele) would be meal planning, scheduling hospital sitters for Toby; just like we had done when Evan was in the hospital.

We had no idea that she would be there for me walking through my house before Toby came home from the hospital - helping me make a list of all we would need to convert his nursery into a hospital room at home.  I found this list a few months ago, and it made me cry.

We had no idea that 7 years later, we would plan, host, speak for and execute a conference for mothers of kids with special needs, or start a small support group for mothers of medically fragile kids.

We also had no idea that our second sons - Garrett and Andy (hers) would be born 3 months apart and be absolutely the best of friends.

It can be difficult some times to relate to people who are walking different paths than you are - it's hard to understand when you haven't walked in someone's shoes.  But, Erika has.  I didn't quite understand for four years what she had gone through with Evan, until Toby was born and everything happened.  I remember calling her saying, "I'm so sorry I ever said that to you, I had no idea; I get it now!"  We have laughed together, cried together and prayed together.

She's not the only one, either. God has blessed me with an amazing support network of other moms who truly "get it".  I'm so thankful for Jen, Cassie, Heather, Tracy, Hannah, Marne, Alissa, Becky, Jenn, Theresa, Sarah, Suzi, Danika, Allison, Krista, Sylvia, Kayla, Andrea, Carol, Kim, Melissa, Donna, Megan, Mary Evelyn, Katie,Mitzi, Stefani, Renee and Sonya.  I apologize if I forgot to list someone - it's late and I ran 10 miles this morning - forgive me? (I wrote this post Saturday night - late)

God's plans are so much bigger than our own.  It's wonderful when He allows us to see just a glimpse of His purposes, to be able to look back and experience that hindsight of,  "Oh, that's why you allowed that to happen."  I'm so thankful that He sees the past, present, and future, and that He orchestrates every tiny detail for His grace and glory.  We experience hard times to be able to comfort others with the comfort we have been comforted with, and to encourage each other.  So, do I think God was just waiting to pour out the most awful things in our lives that I dreaded might happen when I was pregnant with Toby?

No, He was waiting to pour out His gifts of grace, mercy and His blessings.  It wasn't how I pictured His blessings being packaged - It ended up being better!

By the way...here area few photos of our boys together:

The boys were just over a year old here...

 Did I mention that they both turned 10 this summer? :)

From left to right: My Garrett, Conor, and then Erika's Evan and Andy