New Year's Rededication - Humility

Humility!
I hesitate to even blog about this because it means I'm really putting myself out there, sharing struggles...then again even thinking that someone would care enough to read I am writing sticks a knife in the heart of what I will write about - Think about it.  Why is blogging and social networks so important?  Because we feel important putting our thoughts out there knowing someone will read them - knowing someone will "like" them or comment on them.  At the root is it pride - wanting someone to read and comment, someone to care? O f course it's not all prideful, we are sharing - sharing our lives with friends and family, but these thoughts have caused me to pause before I just go venting about the latest problem of my day on facebook! :)

Humility - it is something that one of our pastors preached about a few weeks ago, and boy did it hit home.  I felt like he was speaking directly to ME.  He spoke about the Power of Humility..he said, "Humility is possessing such a complete spiritual awareness and comprehension that God is ALL, that I am brought to absolute and total nothingness before Him, and thus, the complete abandonment of self and self-will."  How do we get humility?  Not by striving, trying harder or having self-discipline...it's not something we can just work at - it's being alone with God every day, to know Him, so He can create humility in us.  Before we do anything or go anywhere, we go to the cross to get rid of our pride, and go to the throne for the power of Christ. When we possess humility, it is the key to possessing God's grace, posessing His mind, and possessing His hand. (by the way if you would like to hear an audio of the message, click here.  There are actually three messages in the series, the one that I'm speaking of is titled "The Power of Humility")


The part that really hit home is that our time with God needs to be more important than sleep, more important than whatever we stayed up late the night before doing (ahem, blogging or facebook!!)  that causes us to sleep in and not be able to go to the cross and the throne...I know that pride and selfishness is innate in the human heart, it's the root of most of the sin and evil in the world - think about it any type of crime you can think of, the root is pride and selfishness. 

So, my New Year's Rededication is to go to the throne and to go to the cross.  I know that I have wandered far too long.  I want purpose in the activities of every day - purpose in what I am teaching my kids, purpose in my relationship with my husband, not just flying by the seat of my pants, wasting precious time.  I was reminded this Christmas season through some very tragic deaths that life is short, life is too precious to waste, and people need Jesus - they need to see Christ in me.  The only way that I can do that is to be humble enough to give up "My agenda" "My plans" to see what God has for me today.  "Who does He want me to serve, want me to share Christ with?"  The task seems daunting at times, but I know that it's the only way; my strongest desire is to be used, to be purposeful, no regrets - all for the glory of God.

I have been reading "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers...and here is January 5th's post:  He was talking about the life of Peter and how the first time Jesus asked Peter to "Follow Me" it was easy in a way, he followed easily out of the fascination with Jesus.  Then he came to the place where he denied Christ and his heart broke.  Then, he received the Holy Spirit, and Jesus says again, "Follow Me"..."this time it was a following in internal martyrydom."  And this is the part I really needed to hear:

"Between these times Peter had denied Jesus with oaths and curses, he had come to the end of himself and all his self-sufficiency, there was not one strand of himself he would ever rely upon again, and in his destitution he was in a fit condition to receive an impartation from the risen Lord...No matter what changes God has wrought in you, never rely upon them, build only on a Person, the Lord Jesus Chrsit, and on the Spirit He gives."
I pray that I have come to the end of myself, that I'm not relying on the previous changes Christ has done in me, and I'm ready to humble myself before Him to change Me and make me useful for His kingdom...that is my New Year's Rededication.