Over the past few weeks, I have been contemplating thankfulness. What does it truly mean to be thankful?
I chuckle to myself, as I am often quoting Philippians 2:14 to my kids "Do everything without complaining or arguing." No one had to teach my kids how to complain or argue. As soon as Conor learned to speak in complete sentences he was negotiating with me, and I think he was 20 months old. As they have gotten older, they are even more skilled at complaining and arguing. I have been trying to teach them thankfulness with our "thankful tree", and in various other ways, but then I was convicted.
This still small voice asked me:
"Do you model this for your children? Do you complete every task without complaining or arguing? What about the small "grrrrs....." your children hear?" (I'm not always particularly fond of that still small voice.) I realized that when our kids groan when they are asked to do chores, they are copying what I model many times - expressing frustration, angst, over trivial things.
So, today I went back to read the passage in Philippians. "Did God really mean to do everything without complaining or arguing?" I think I would have to say "yes" - it means everything.
During our time with family in Michigan for Thanksgiving, I realized how frequently I express my angst and frustration out loud at silly little things:
traffic,
the kids' rowdiness,
drying dishes that weren't clean and getting salad dressing on the dish towel,
the wireless internet not working,
I remembered the verse and realized that I'm not a very good example to my children, and the verse does say - Do everything without complaining or arguing. The chapter goes on to say, "so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation,
in which you shine like stars in the universe..."
How am I shining light to others (especially my kids - because they see the real me)? Is it through gratefulness? I have to be honest, that personally I tend to weather the bigger trails alright, I struggle more with the the every day little things that I can control.
As I think on this even further, I realize that having an attitude of thankfulness means having an eternal perspective. All of this stuff on earth will not last. Laying up for ourselves treasures in heaven is what matters most. As a saved believer in Christ, I (we) have HOPE - the ultimate HOPE of heaven. We have salvation from our sins - we didn't have to die on that cross and suffer the ultimate penalty. Jesus died in our place. Even if we face death ourselves there's still hope - nothing we face, nothing is so bad that can take away that hope.
I sometimes feel that because of the many trials we have suffered with Toby, I have a right to complain - or eat more chocolate, or get a massage. I have a right because I've suffered. I might get someone angry for throwing this next thing out there, but when people say "Oh, no one should ever have to go through that. No one should ever have to watch their child go through that." Why? What makes us so special that we deserve to never experience any type of hardship? I honestly don't have an answer, but know that in our circumstances, if we had not gone through our times with Toby, I would not have learned to rely on God, trust Him, know Him intimately - His faithfulness, love and mercy because I would be relying on myself.
Jesus didn't deserve to die on the cross for sins he didn't commit. He didn't deserve to leave heaven's perfection to be a man, and subject himself to being a human? If anyone didn't have a right to experience sorrow and hardship it was Jesus. He was led like a lamb to slaughter and yet He spoke not a word. I have often wondered how martyrs can face death with such courage and bravery, and choose not to denounce the name of Christ or salvation. How can they choose to die for their faith? I think part of the secret is having an eternal perspective; this life is a vapor, and heaven is waiting for us immediately after we close our eyes in death.
Now let me throw in a bit of a disclaimer here - I don't think that the verse means that we never grieve, have sorrow, sadness, or even express constructive criticism in ways to improve various things. It's the attitude of the heart and having an attitude of thankfulness. I could go on and on about how we are blessed to live in America, we are so rich compared to other countries, but I won't - just to say this. The fact is, we are blessed, our "needs" are usually not necessities. If you have a chance, click on my sister
Lynsey's blog and hear about living 3 months in Nicaragua - trust me, you'll never complain about doing laundry again!
In an effort to teach my kids not to groan, complain and mumble about having to do simple chores, I'm trying to model it in my own life. When tempted to get bent out of shape because someone spilled sticky juice in a dripping trail across the floor, I try to change my mind-set and be thankful for having juice to begin with or clean running water for that matter, I am healthy enough to kneel on the floor to clean it up, I have children to make the messes and the list goes on and on.
I just finished reading this wonderful fiction book by Lynn Austin about three Swedish sisters that immigrate to the United States. In the book, Sofia sings this wonderful old hymn - I will close with a few verses from the song: "
Children of the Heavenly Father"
Children of the heavenly Father, safely in His bosom gather;
Nestling bird nor star in heaven, such a refuge e’eer was
given.
God His own doth tend and nourish, In His holy courts they flourish
From all evil things He spares them, in His loving arms He bears them.
Neither life nor death can ever, from the Lord His children sever
Unto them His grace He showeth, and their sorrows - all He
knoweth.
Though He giveth or He taketh, God His children ne’er forsaketh;
His the loving purpose solely, to preserve them pure and holy.
Wow, and that's reason enough not to complain.
