Comfort Zone

I really enjoy doing things that are within my comfort zone.  If I'm unsure about a situation, place, opportunity - it takes me awhile to get used to the idea before I will venture into new territory.  Some a lot of times I'll avoid it all together if I'm not comfortable enough.

Having Toby (and kids in general) has really grown me in this area.  Before Toby, I would NEVER be the first to approach a stranger or begin a conversation.  Post-Toby, I am more open to this, especially if their child is in a wheelchair, has a trach or a ventilator.  In fact I met a very good friend at the zoo when Toby and her daughter were babies - we connected because of our kids' trachs!

There are times that I'm at our local children's hospital by myself because of a meeting or other event (I volunteer on a few committees),  I'll see a child that reminds me of Toby, and I want to rush up to the family and introduce myself and hear their story.  I'll give them a special smile.  I'm sure they're thinking "wish this weird lady would stop looking at us and smiling!"  But, it's hard not to empathize because we get it, we understand.

On the flip side, it's also difficult to venture into any new situation with Toby.  It took me several months to warm up to the idea of flying on a plane with him when he was a full time ventilator patient a few years ago (ask Bruce - ha!).  Even attending our new small group tomorrow night has my stomach in a few knots.  Do they really want a wheelchair in their house? Considering a new location/event, we have to ask ourselves:

How would will we get Toby around?  Grass, mud, and sand are not a wheelchair's friend
Will Toby even be able to participate in any activities?
What about his food schedule?
Where in the world will we do our straight cathing?  (this is ALWAYS an issue)
What will the weather be like? (heat and rain are not friends of a trach)
Is there enough room for Toby's chair?  Will he beat up all the walls in a friends' home?
If we spend the night - what are the sleeping arrangements?

For these reasons and a bit because of sleeping space, we have never gone to visit my youngest sister and her family in Indiana (over 5 years!)...until Labor Day weekend.  A conversation with Conor birthed the idea, and after some hotel reservations and planning, we thought, "Why not...let's just do it?"  So, we did.

We had a lot of fun visiting Shauna, Jonathan, Addy, and Brenden.  The kids had a blast playing together, and Toby scooted around their house like a champ.  They have a small four-wheeled all terrain vehicle that we rode for hours and hours.  The kids loved it.  I really enjoyed time with my youngest sister - it's fun to have our kids grow up together!

Toby enjoyed his little buddy (even though Toby doesn't look too sure in this photo).  The favorite things of the weekend were of course the four-wheeler, Shauna's ipad, and Snappy (their cat).  We are not blessed to have pets at our house (I'm allergic to cats), so whenever we are at someone's house with pets - especially cats or dogs, the kids love them to death.  Snappy wasn't too sure about our kids, but after awhile he got used to their rowdy ways and enjoyed the attention.  Did I mention the kids really liked the four-wheeler?  We weren't on the road home, five minutes when the kids were asking if we could get one for our house.  Hmmm..sure our home owner's association would love that!

Don't you just love those smiles?

There are times when we just can't take Toby certain places, it's not practical or safe, or honestly it's just way too much work to get him there and all of his equipment.  (You should see how much we have to pack when we travel).  However, we have learned through the years that venturing out of our comfort zone usually reaps more benefits and enjoyment than the cost of time and energy it takes to get him there - and it's worth it to invest in our relationships and spend time with those we love.